We’re in a big transition time right now, with more schools shifting from virtual to in-person learning, spring starting, and summer on the horizon. Many of us have been pretty hunkered down these past several months with the pandemic and some intense winter storms. My goal for this post is to provide a space for reflection AND to offer some practical tools for everyday and larger scale transitions.
Reflection question #1: What kinds of transitions are you and your families facing right now?
I know from speaking with parents of school-aged children through teens, some of the transitions I’ve heard about are:
- Shifting from virtual to in-person school
- Remaining virtual while many friends are in-person
- Making choices regarding extracurricular activities or classes
- Navigating friendships with COVID mitigation (masks, distancing, etc.)
- Planning for summer with lots of uncertainty around restrictions and offerings
- Responding to quarantine/isolation requirements
- Adjusting to busier schedules
- Separating from screens as the in-person activities increase
You. Are. Not. Alone.
Listen: You. Are. Not. Alone! Our transitions might be different from one another but we are all experiencing some form of transition these days.
Reflection question #2: How are you, as a parent or caregiver, feeling in the face of these transitions?
I have heard a wide range (and combination) of feelings from clients and friends:
- Relieved
- Worried
- Sad
- Excited
- Frustrated
- Tired/exhausted
- Confused/lost
- Grateful
Reflection question #3: In the face of all of that how can we be kind to ourselves? How can we nourish and nurture ourselves, as parents and caregivers?
- Say kind things to ourselves
- Call a friend
- Write in a journal
- Say no
- Meditate
- Go for a walk
- Acceptance
Reflection question #4: Now, related to our children, here’s my next question for you: How are your children doing? What behaviors are you seeing related to these transitions?
Your child might be sharing how they are feeling directly. If they aren’t expressing their feelings in words, behavior is communication. What is their behavior telling you?
Behavior is Communication
Reflection question #5: In the face of whatever transition you, your child, or your family is addressing right now, what would you most want your child to learn or get from the experience? How do you want them to see themselves on the other side? How would you like them to experience your relationship?
I’ll give you an example from my family. My children are staying virtual for school. Academically, they have been fine. Socially and emotionally, it has been hard. In our region, schools have started opening their doors to in-person learning. This has caused my children to feel sad, a little isolated, frustrated, and bored. When I reflect on how I would like them to experience this time, I want them to feel heard through their upsets and competent to navigate the ups and downs.
Perhaps you would like them to feel:
Emerging
- Supported
- Loved
- Confident
- Responsible
- Resilient
- Encouraged
Now, the last piece that I want to inquire about is how do you honor all of those goals?
That is, how do: 1) you be kind to yourself 2) honor your child, AND 3) move effectively through the transition?
Transition Strategies
In this last section, I am going to offer up some strategies that can support you and your child through transitions, big and small.
Daily Schedule example
- Transition Strategy #1: Being Proactive
- Nurture yourself as a parent proactively
- Observe and anticipate your/your child’s needs
- Use systems for reminding
- Timer
- Schedule
- Visuals
- Lists
- Nurture yourself as a parent proactively
- Transition Strategy #2: Being Present
- Avoid multitasking
- Slow down
- Pause
- Transition Strategy #3: Being Empowering
- How could you get their input or assistance?
- What job might your child be ready for?
- Set their alarm clock for waking up
- Make their breakfast and/or lunch
- Household chore ideas based on ages
- Teach/practice the skill ahead of time
- More on solutions to empower in a previous post
If you are looking for 1:1 or support as a couple to work through this time of transition, please reach out. I will listen to what is going on in your family and together we can create a plan.
Join me on Friday, April 9th at noon EST for a conversation called “Can I get some help around here?”. You can engage face-to-face (virtually) by registering for the Zoom call OR tune in via Facebook to listen and share your comments.
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