Reflections on having a girl

Around the time I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I thought a lot about the potential gender. I thought I really wanted a boy. My experience with my nephews had been lots of fun, play, simplicity. When I thought about raising a girl, my thoughts were always “I’ll give her everything, all of my love, and then she’ll grow up to hate me as an adult, like all women do.” Pretty cynical. Then one day I was running on a local hike and bike trail and my perspective shifted just a bit. I watched as a mother and her young daughter – about 8 years old- biked by me. The girl was biking along fast with her helmet on and seemed to be full of joy and athleticism. I could see how having a girl could be really cool – a little kick ass girl. Perhaps I could cultivate strength and confidence in her. Maybe having a girl would be ok.

We decided not to find out about our baby’s gender until the day of birth. We ultimately did welcome a daughter. We were thrilled about the birth experience and, most importantly, about her being healthy.

My daughter is now seven years old. We’ve had quite a ride of the whole parenting and early childhood thing. But today I was reflecting on that memory of the girl riding her bike down the trail. I was so filled with joy and excitement as my daughter and I drove down the highway headed on our own adventure. We blasted a female pop artist on the stereo – singing along together. We were having our own girls’ day – being strong, confident, joyful and adventurous.

We hiked, crossed a freezing cold stream bare-foot, squished our toes in the mud, climbed on limestone, ate trail mix and headed back home dehydrated, dirty, and tired. It was a great day. I love having a girl. I hope that the relationship we’re developing now will flourish as we both age.