This week I addressed the questions of working parents in an employer-scheduled webinar. Perhaps you have some of the same questions. I have condensed the responses due to the written format.
Question: Our routines have been messed up since March. With school starting soon, how do we get back on track?
- Identify parameters: What parameters do you have? Are there school schedules to follow? Are there non-negotiable work schedules to follow? Start there.
- Maintain family routines: Include family routines like family dinners, bedtime routine, chores, special experiences on the weekends, etc.
Question: My child is anxious and/or sad about this upcoming year. How can I best support them?
- The transition back to school is typically challenging for many children. Many of the things that kids look forward to, seeing friends, meeting their teachers, elective/specials classes, are not happening in the same ways.
- Here are three ways to support your children:
- Focus on Positive: Notice what is going well. Notice what your child loves. Are there ways to include activities that they enjoy in the day or week?
- Empower them: Where can you child have choice/control/power over their day? For younger children, it might be smaller things, like clothes, snacks, books. For older children, it might be choosing the game or movie for Friday night, a socially distant activity with a friend, planning a meal for the family.
- Find ways to connect: Think love languages: Hugs, quality time, offering a special snack, acknowledging something they are working hard at.
Question: Other parents are making different choices than us. How do we communicate what we need to our child? How can we accept the choices of other families while holding true to our values/needs?
- This is so tough! Each parent/family needs to assess what makes the best sense for their own family. It is very challenging when new guidelines emerge, new opportunities are offered, more decisions to make. Many parents experience “decision fatigue” and overwhelm.
- Here are steps to establishing limits that work for you:
- Find a way to get grounded whether through meditation, exercise, spending time outdoors, quiet time, etc. to find clarity.
- Clearly communicate the decision to your child.
- If there is a way to involve your child (especially older children), that can be very empowering for them.
- As for accepting the choices of others, it can be hard when your child’s best friend is either more restrictive than your family or less restrictive. The best we can do is accept that others make the best decisions for their families and we need to honor their choices. If someone is not respecting your choices, be sure to clearly communicate.
Question: Our school district is doing online schooling. How can I support my child’s learning while still being available for my employer?
- Schedule:
- Learn your child’s schedule.
- Notice patterns where they might need support.
- Build-in time for fun and connection.
- Schedule time for self-care! In these times, that might be sleep, healthy eating, and exercise.
- Learn your child’s schedule.
- Environment:
- Establish a learning space for your child with all the materials closeby.
- Plan ahead:
- Prep as much as possible beforehand (for example, I still pack my youngest’s lunch and snack so I won’t be interrupted for that).
- Empower your child to prep their own meals and find their own solutions.
- Create an agreement or contract with your child.
- Communicate:
- Communicate with your child’s school, if there are conflicts to establish a schedule that works well for your family.
- Let your child know when you cannot be interrupted. Let them know appropriate ways to get your attention and ask for help.
If you have other questions related to school, work-life balance, or parenting in general, reach out to me.
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