We had a sweet morning bike ride to school this morning, cool(ish) spring air, just the two of us. Everything was going great until…the hill…and maybe a passing car or my bike. Whatever it was, something got in the way of my 3-year old getting to the top of the hill without stopping. That hill has seen a struggle or two in my family.
So, he stopped. He insisted on going back to the bottom of the hill so he could bike up the entire thing. He stood at the bottom of the hill repeatedly attempting to bike up and then giving up. Whining. Crying. Fussing. Frustrated. Stubborn. I mostly stood nearby letting him work it out. After a few minutes I started feeling impatient.
I noticed that I, like him, was feeling frustrated and stuck.
So…I took a breath. I asked myself “How do I want to handle this?” Meanwhile, he was still fussing and crying and refusing to move at the bottom of the hill.
I took another breath and calmly headed to my son.
I crouched down next to him and told him:
“This is a big hill. It’s hard to bike up this hill!”
He quieted a little. I told him, “You have three choices:
- You can keep trying to bike up this hill
- You can walk your bike up the hill or
- I can help you by pushing you up the hill.
What do you chose?”
We discussed the first option a bit. He really wanted to do it by himself. I told him that if he is going to do it himself, he is going to need to 1) take a few deep breaths and 2) tell himself “I can do it! I can do it! I am strong!”
He considered his options.
He told me that he would like me to push him up the hill.
I got behind his bike, held onto his handlebars and we raced up the hill and onto school. His mood shifted from utter flailing frustration to disappointed yet calm and finally to happy and excited to see his friends at school.
Do you have a good parenting story to share?
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